Key Concepts
Culture
Be Culturally Sensitive when Planning Parenting Education
Gender
Outreach Efforts to Fathers
Grandparent as Parents
Program Strategies to Help Grandparents
Teen Parents
Five Tips for Success
Learning Activities:
The Influence of Family Culture
Family Sayings

Key Concepts

• The term “parent” is broadly defined as the person who has the primary responsibility for raising a child. This person may not always be a child's biological parent.
  
  
• The audience for parenting education is diverse. Parents vary in terms of characteristics, needs, and interests. Over time, each person also varies in what they want to learn about parenting.
  
  
• One's culture and family of origin have an impact on how an individual defines the role of parent.
  
  
• While outreach to all parents is important, programs may need to plan special programs or initiatives targeted to meet the needs of particular parents - for example, fathers, teen parents, or grandparents raising grandchildren.
  
  
• The more Head Start staff know about the parents in their program, the better they can create useful and appropriate parenting education experiences.

Background Information

In talking about programs that serve families, Levine and Pitts (1997) use the metaphor of “on-ramps” to describe opportunities for becoming involved. At Head Start, one set of “on-ramps” are those that lead into parenting education experiences. These “on-ramps” are important because a primary goal at Head Start is to provide parents with opportunities to build on their skills and to obtain the information and support they need to do their job as parents.

A critical question is how to design these “on-ramps” so that they actually draw in parents. One answer is to listen to parents themselves. Parents of course have many different characteristics depending on their background, experiences, interests, and needs. Each parent's set of characteristics determines the particular “on-ramps” that will attract him or her.

These activities address three critical and sometimes overlooked characteristics of parenting education audiences. The first is culture: how each person's family background shapes their experiences and interests. The second is gender: specifically, the male parent - the father or father figure. The third is age: in particular, teen parents and grandparents raising grandchildren.

Culture

Most people have definite ideas about what it means to be a “good” parent, just as they have ideas about how an ideal child behaves. Often strongly held beliefs and preferences about parenting just “feel right” and are rarely questioned. One usually reflects upon these values when confronted with someone who holds different beliefs and preferences. It may come as a surprise to some people that others not only define parenting differently but also feel their way is right.

Families socialize their children in ways that reinforce the beliefs held by their culture. Sometimes this teaching is direct, as in the case of rules that must be followed, but more often it is learned through everyday interactions among family members. Subtle differences in how much physical contact babies have with their parents, how toddlers' anger is handled, or chores assigned to boys and girls all give strong cultural messages to children.

Culture is more than ethnicity. While groups of people sharing a heritage may hold systems of beliefs and behaviors in common, it is also important to recognize that every family has its own culture. In some families, parents view children's questioning as evidence of their intelligence and encourage it, while in other families, such behavior would be punished for being rude. The child's behavior in both cases is the same, but the way parents interpret that behavior and respond to it are influenced by culture.

Head Start programs are rich in cultural variation. It is relatively easy to see cultural differences among parents. The ways they discipline their children, the chores they assign, the behavior they encourage or disallow all give clues to the rich variation among families. It is human nature for people to think that what they see as good or even ideal is right for everyone. Anthropologists call this phenomenon “ethnocentrism,” that is, we see the world through our own culture's eyes. There would be no problem with this if everyone were the same and held the same values for parents and children. Since that is not true, we have the opportunity to learn not only about how others view parenting (and thus expand our own ideas) but also to reflect upon our own ideas and even change them. Parenting education can be an important tool in helping parents and staff members examine their own assumptions about children and themselves - especially those assumptions that have been held as “truths.”

Head Start has been a leader in promoting partnerships between parents and staff and also for providing opportunities for parents to support each other. Fundamental to any partnership is a respect for the strengths each family brings to the program. Parenting education, then, is about helping parents examine their own beliefs and practices in ways that support their children's growth and development. It is not about changing parents' beliefs to any “right” way of seeing the world. The role for parenting educator has shifted from that of expert to that of facilitator. Parenting educators must know the resources available in the field and in their communities in order to help match resources to parents. Recognizing too, that parents learn from each other, there must be opportunities for parents to share ideas and experiences in settings that respect their various perspectives.

In planning parenting education, teams must be culturally sensitive. They may do this through:

• The materials they select (e.g., displaying photos of families resembling the families in the program; using examples of different parenting practices mentioned).
  
  
• The ways they reach out to parents (e.g., holding parenting education meetings at local community centers; translating materials into the native language of parents; including grandparents with parents as decision makers in families where elders hold that role).
  
  
• Acknowledging the different ways adults learn and express themselves (e.g., recognizing that some parents see it as improper to question a parent educator or to come to meetings with both men and women present; using a variety of teaching strategies such as video, role playing, and small group discussions).
  
  
• Recognizing that some of the practices and assumptions made by Head Start may conflict with parents' views and that they may need help bridging the differences (e.g., finding ways to assure some parents that children's attachment to other adults with different rules and practices need not diminish parents' authority).
  
  
• Expecting variation in the ways parents participate in discussions and other parenting education activities (e.g., what parents feel is acceptable to discuss with others and what needs to be kept private, how people are addressed, how differences of opinion are expressed and handled).
  
  
• Keeping parents involved in planning and assessing parenting education opportunities.

Gender

It is a standing assumption in Head Start that parents are their children's first and most important teachers. Parenting education efforts can and should support parents in their important roles as children's teachers. Sometimes, efforts to increase parent involvement in Head Start and to provide parenting education opportunities have been done with mothers in mind. While it is true that increasing numbers of children live in single parent, female-headed households, a national survey of Head Start programs found that a man is present (whether father, mother's boyfriend, or other male relative) in approximately 60 percent of Head Start families (Levine, 1993). Another recent survey showed that a majority of mothers surveyed reported their children had regular and consistent interaction with a father or other male role figure despite the high proportion of single-parent families served by the program studied (McBride and Lin, in press). And finally, there is also an increasing number of single parent families headed by fathers.

Most fathers care about their children and want to be involved in their children's lives. What fathers offer their children is not the same as what mothers offer, though both can be nurturing and stimulating. For example, in their dealings with young children, men tend to resemble other men much more than they do women - whatever the biological relationships between the men and the children may be. From the beginning of children's lives, fathers handle babies differently than others do. At first glance, one might think that men's and women's differing levels of experience with infants might explain differences in handling, but close observations document that even men who are very experienced with children handle them differently from women. Not better, not worse, but differently.

Not only do children benefit from regular interaction with fathers, but the fathers themselves benefit. Men who care for infants and young children have been described by the children's mothers as more emotionally available to them as well as to their children. Changes in fathers' sense of self is also related to regular care giving of young children as men move into seeing themselves as "fathers." Many programs already recognize the importance of involving fathers and are making extra efforts to engage men more actively in Head Start.

As new programs and outreach efforts are being designed, programs should consider the following:

• Fathers (or other significant males) may not recognize the important role they play in raising children and/or they may be afraid that by becoming more involved, they will expose their own inadequacies. Programs can do a lot to distill the myths about male involvement by providing men (and women) with information about the important role men do play in raising children. Furthermore, it is critical that programs model the importance of involving fathers - for example, programs can display photos of fathers working with children in everyday activities, address correspondence to both parents, and conduct home visits at a time convenient to both parents.
  
  
• Provide staff development opportunities and hire male staff members when possible. It is important for staff to understand the importance of supporting men in their role as father and to gain the skills that will enable them to help fathers become more involved. For example, staff may need information or training on the expectations different cultures place on men in regard to child rearing or on facilitating support groups. When possible, consider hiring male staff to facilitate male support groups and providing them with staff development opportunities to keep them connected to the rest of the Head Start program.
  
  
• Partner with parents who are already involved to design outreach activities and plan programs targeted to men. Parents are a program's best source of ideas. Parents can provide important insight into what it might take to make a program more inviting to fathers (or other significant males), how other parents are likely to react if special attention is paid to fathers, who might be seen as a leader for a father initiative, and what special supports might be needed.

Increasing fathers' involvement in Head Start does not happen overnight. A great deal of reflection on current beliefs and practices, discussion, and planning are necessary to achieve maximum participation by fathers.

Grandparents as Parents

It comes as no surprise to Head Start staff that families in their programs are experiencing high levels of stress. Family circumstances including death, abandonment, divorce, imprisonment, drug addiction, mental illness, and AIDS have all contributed to the need for many children to live apart from their biological parents. Grandparents raising grandchildren is a common occurrence, but in recent years the numbers of families headed by grandparents has increased rapidly. Between 1980 and 1990, there was a 40 percent rise in grandchildren living in their grandparents' homes without their parents. About 1 in 20 children under age 18 lives with a grandparent without parents present.

Grandparents raising grandchildren cross all ethnic and socioeconomic lines, but occurs more frequently in urban areas. Head Start can be an important resource for grandparent-headed families. In order to best support these families, staff must acknowledge and accept their unique strengths.

Program strategies to help grandparents include:

• Examining and revising program policies to accommodate the realities of children living with their grandparents - for example, programs can assist grandparents in obtaining formal guardianship if that is required for them to make decisions on behalf of the child in Head Start.
  
  
• Having information available about grandparents as parents - for example, checking on available support groups or grandparenting classes in the community or thinking about ways of creating similar groups at Head Start.
  
  
• Keeping in mind that times may have changed since grandparents raised their own children. Extra time for parent-teacher conferences and more home visits may be needed to help grandparents adjust to current child-rearing practices, attitudes, and services.
  
  
• Using inclusive language in home-center communications or when talking with family members (including children) so that grandparent-headed families are made to feel normal rather than different.
  
  
• Anticipating adjustment difficulties and acting to minimize them. For example, programs can provide special support for grandparents as children come into their homes and adjust to new routines and expectations.

Teen Parents

Adolescence is typically a time of life when people are building a sense of identity, independence, and belonging. When one becomes a parent while still an adolescent, this process is complicated. The dependence of a baby can conflict with the urge for independence. Playing with a baby or young child can make teen parents feel like they're moving backward instead of growing up. Especially for single teen parents, the stress of staying in school or working a full-time job can add to the challenge of parenting. Finally, when teens become parents, their relationships with friends and family may change drastically.

Head Start programs need to consider the particular needs and interests of teen parents as they design parenting education experiences. Programs that have successfully reached out to teens have offered support in such areas as: knowledge of child development, skills in caring for and observing babies and young children, interpersonal skills, opportunities to be with other teen parents like themselves, job training or support for continued schooling so that the teen parent can become self-sufficient, and mentoring programs that pair young parents with adults who were once teen parents themselves. Program staff face both opportunities and special challenges when caring for the children of teen parents.

Here are five tips for success:

• Let teen parents know you are on their side. This means working to build trust and avoiding power struggles. The goal should be to treat all parents with respect and to be treated the same way by them. When parents happen to be teenagers, they sometimes see providers as authority figures. And some providers may react or treat them as children. Resist this urge!
  
  
• Enjoy the energy of teen parents. Even though they may be parents, 16- and 17-year-olds need to have the fun other teens have. Teen parents can be responsible and still, at times, act like teenagers. Don't fault them for acting their age when it is appropriate.
  
  
• Support teen parents' attachments to their children. Sometimes young parents are jealous of caregivers. The attention and affection given by others to their children may make them fear loss of love from their babies. Show that you recognize them as the most important person in the baby's life.
  
  
• Use your knowledge and experience to gently teach and guide teen parents. Most teens are eager to learn. The key is to watch for opportunities. Share your view with respect. You may find the teachable moments occur more often. Also, you may learn some things from the teen parents.
  
  
• Get to know each teen parent as a person. We all need someone to talk to and share good news with, to encourage us, and to just listen when we are feeling low. All teens need a good relationship with at least one supportive adult. Teen parents are real people, separate from their children. Be a friend. Make a friend. Make a difference.¹

¹ Sherry C. Betts, Success with Teen Parents and Their Babies, 1993

The Influence of Family and Culture Purpose: Participants will explore how family and culture can influence one's view of parenting.

 

Handout 2 [PDF, 98KB]: Summary Sheet; floor space; masking tape; markers; chart paper.

Trainer Preparation Notes: Prior to the session, turn the room into a map of the world. For example, label walls North, South, East and West, put a piece of masking tape down to indicate the equator, and tape a sign to the floor indicating your current location. Also place a world map, a map of the United States, and a State and County map on the walls in your meeting room for participants to use as a reference guide.

Process

Open the activity by noting that much of what parents learn about parenting comes from the culture in which they live and from the culture of their parents and grandparents. Then explain that in this activity, participants will explore the messages or ideas about parenting they themselves received from their family and their family's culture.

Orient participants to the map in the room. Point out the South Pole, North Pole, and equator. Indicate where the major continents would be if they were outlined on the floor. Remind participants that in this exercise, they do not need to worry about finding the exact geographic location, just an approximate one. State that you will always be available to help anyone who “gets lost.”

Then, ask participants to move to the place where their mother (or a significant female caregiver) was born. After everyone has moved, ask them to reflect silently on the following questions:

Where are you?

Think about this part of the world. What messages about parenting do you think your mother (or female caregiver) received growing up?

How would your mother have defined the term "good parent"?

Emphasize that there are no right or wrong answers, and participants should share their thoughts only if they are comfortable doing so. Ask volunteers to share their reflections (on the questions listed above).

Next, ask the group to move to where their father (or a significant male caregiver) was born. After everyone has moved, ask participants to again reflect silently on the following questions:

Where are you?

Think about this part of the world. What messages about parenting do you think your father (or male caregiver) received growing up?

How would your father have defined a "good parent"?

Again, ask for volunteers to share their reflections.

Trainer Preparation Notes: Depending on the size and makeup of your group, you may want to have participants think about the room as a map of the United States instead of a world map for the next set of questions. If you change the map, take a few moments to point out the north, south, east and west boundaries and some key landmarks (i.e., your state).

Then ask participants to move to the place they were when they learned they were going to be a parent. Direct participants who are not parents to move to the place they were when they first learned they were going to be in a close relationship with a child (for example, as a godparent or a teacher). After everyone has moved, ask participants to reflect on the following questions:

Where are you?

How would you have defined the term "good parent" at this time?

What questions did you have about children, about being a parent, or about being a caregiver to children? Where did you turn for information, support, or help?

Ask for volunteers to share their reflections.

Trainer Preparation Notes: Change the boundaries of your imaginary map again, this time using your county or a city map. Once again, take a few moments to help participants get oriented.

Then ask participants to move to where they live now and reflect on the following questions:

Where are you?

What questions do you have about parenting, about being a parent now, or about being a caregiver to children now?

Where do you turn for information, support, or help?

Are there some beliefs about parenting or skills you learned from your parents?

Debriefing

Ask participants to return to their seats and debrief the activity by making the following points:

• The definition of a “good parent” is often culturally influenced. When planning parenting education experiences, planners need to be aware of how individual parents define their roles and to be respectful of differences.
• Parents have different questions and needs at various stages in their experience. First-time parents, for example, may have very different interests and concerns than other, more experienced parents. Planners need to consider parents' specific concerns when planning parenting education experiences.
• Parenting education opportunities need to be dynamic. They need to change as necessary to match the evolving interests of parents.

Conclude the activity by having participants summarize what they have learned about the impact of family and culture on parenting, using Handout 2 [PDF, 98KB]: Summary Sheet to record their thoughts.

Family Sayings Purpose: Participants will explore ways family and culture affect their views of parenting.

Materials

Handout 2 [PDF, 98KB]: Summary Sheet; paper cut into the size of bumper stickers; scissors; glue; markers; other art materials.

Process

Begin the session by asking this question:

Have you ever had the experience of saying something to one of your children and suddenly realizing you sound just like one of your parents (or primary caregivers)?

Ask participants to raise their hands, if the answer for them is yes.

Then state that much of what we learn about parenting comes from our families and our culture. Continue by explaining that families share their values and perspectives in a variety of ways. Family rituals, family stories, and everyday family interactions teach children much about what it means to live in a family. The words and sayings used within our families influence how we think about ourselves and about the roles we assume, including the role of parent.

Ask participants to think about a saying that reflects their family's values or beliefs about parenting or parents and children.

For example, family sayings could be:

Parents should give children roots and wings.

Don't do what I do, do what I say.

Look me in the eye when I'm talking to you.

Children should be seen and not heard.

Respect your elders.

Then ask them to make a bumper sticker with the art materials provided. They may make more than one if they choose. Allow 10-15 minutes for participants to work.

Reconvene the group. For those who are comfortable, ask them to share their bumper stickers with the whole group.

After everyone has had an opportunity to share, ask participants to discuss the following:

Why do you think culture is such a powerful influence on how we think of ourselves as parents?

Use information and examples from the background section of this guide to help stimulate the discussion.

Debriefing

Summarize this activity by making the following points:

• People come to parenting education opportunities with different perspectives about parenting. These perspectives are often influenced by our families and cultures.
• It is important to recognize where people are coming from, in terms of family and culture, and to value their perspectives when planning parenting education experiences.

Before ending this activity, ask participants to summarize their thoughts using Handout 2 [PDF, 98KB]: Summary Sheet. …