Parents with a social network of emotionally supportive friends, family, and neighbors often find that it is easier to care for their children and themselves. Most parents need people they can call on once in a while when they need a sympathetic listener, advice, or concrete support. Conversely, research has shown that parents who are isolated, with few social connections, are at higher risk for child abuse and neglect.
Some parents may need to develop self-confidence and social skills to expand their social networks. Helping parents identify resources and/or providing opportunities for them to make connections within their neighborhood or community may encourage isolated parents to reach out. Often, opportunities exist within faith-based organizations, schools, hospitals, community centers, and other places where support groups or social groups meet.
Exploring Strengths and Needs
Identifying and building on parents' current or potential social connections, skills, abilities, and interests can be a great way to partner with them as they expand their social networks. For parents who have difficulty establishing and maintaining social connections, your discussion may help them identify what is holding them back.
| In order to explore … |
Ask the parent … |
- The parent's social skills, willingness to join a group, and capacity to make and keep friends
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- Who can you call for advice or just to talk?
- How often do you see them?
- Would you be comfortable/willing to attend a parent group (or other group) just to see if you like it?
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- The parent's current social support system, including family, friends, and membership in any formal groups
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- Do you have family members or friends nearby who help you out once in a while?
- Do you belong to a church, temple, mosque, women's group, men's group?
- Do you have a child in the local school or Head Start program?
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- The parent's desire for new friends and social connections
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- What kinds of things do you like to do for fun or to relax?
- Would you be interested in meeting some other moms and dads who also [have a new baby, have a teenager, like to cook, sing in a choir, etc.]?
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- The parent's potential strengths and challenges in making social connections (include concerns such as parent's language, comfort level in groups, access to babysitting and transportation, recent arrival in community)
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- What are some benefits of getting out or joining a group?
- What kind of support would you need in order to be able to get out for an evening?
- How does your spouse or partner help out so that you have some time with friends?
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- Needs that might be met with better social connections (for instance, respite care, a sympathetic listener, a role model)
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- Would it help you to have more friends or acquaintances to call about _______?
- Would it help you to know other moms and dads who are dealing with _________?
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- The parent's interest in starting or facilitating a community group
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- What would it take to get a group of parents together to ___________?
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Sharing Strategies and Resources to Strengthen Social Connections
If parents express an interest in making social connections, you may want to offer suggestions, information, or services. Sometimes parents will not identify a lack of social connections or emotional support as an issue. Instead, they may be concerned about a child's behavior problem or their own depression. In addressing the parent's concerns, you can also provide information about how these needs might be met by connecting with others (e.g., a support group for parents with similar issues). You can also provide general information on how expanding social connections can reduce isolation and support parents.
Consider sharing the following:
Benefits of a broad social network
- Helps ease the burden of parenting
- Models positive social interactions for children and gives children access to other supportive adults
- Provides support in crises
- Offers opportunities to help others
Ways to broaden a social network
- Overcome transportation, childcare, and other "barriers," for instance, taking a bus or carpool to a play group or joining a babysitting co-op to meet other parents and have occasional childcare
- Access community resources, especially those with which the parent has some experience (a church he or she attended, a Head Start program where the child is enrolled, a cultural center that offers services in the parent's native language)
- Join a parent's group or play group in the neighborhood, or start a new group
And if a group does not already exist …
Some neighborhoods and communities provide ample opportunities for neighbors to come together and friendships to develop. In other cases, agencies and organizations may welcome help in starting groups that bring families together for mutual support. These groups might start as an outgrowth of a widely recognized need in the community, such as new families that have just moved to the area or concerned citizens working against community violence. Community involvement is critical for these groups to be sustained over time. As a service provider, your role might be to bring individuals together (including parents), providing a meeting place, or simply encouraging a community leader to establish a group to meet a particular need.
